Post by TomLine on Mar 23, 2017 20:14:11 GMT -5
The diagram above is a depiction of my world.
The center circle is my inner circle. These are the people I am most intimate with. You'll see one red dot. That's me. I'm the only one in my inner circle.
The next circle is where my closest friends are. These are the people that are sometimes there for me. I say sometimes because if they were there everyday, they would probably be in the inner circle with me. And I appreciate these people.
Outside of those circles are the many people I know but really not in my circles. Some are close. And there are some I really wish were. There are even a few I wish were in my inner circle with me.
Is that too much to ask for? For someone to be in my inner circle with me? This inner circle is very lonely with only me in it.
In recent months I've been to the hospital several times. Most of the time I took myself. This last time I was just not up to taking myself. So I devised three plans. Ask friend A, then ask friend B. If both plans failed, I would have called an ambulance. Friend A was able to take me. While there, there was no one. No visitors. No one. Of course we did have a snowstorm, but other people had visitors. If there would be just one more person in my inner circle, they likely would have been there.
In my inner circle is where most of my life is. And I am there all alone. Why?
God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." I realize he was specifically referring to Adam, but there are Scriptures that make this true for all men. Proverbs 18.22, 19.14, Ecclesiastes 4.7-12, 1st Corinthians 7.9.
I can attest that being alone in my inner circle is torture, and quite frankly, I am very tired of this torture.
No matter what I do in my life, I do most of it all alone. Whether it be politics, religion, or promoting Country music. I am all alone in all of it. Not one soul comes to me and says,"I'll help."
Recently, I've been thinking about giving up on it all, and just wait for God to take me home. As of now, I have nothing anchoring me to this life.
One more person in my inner circle with me would make it all worthwhile.